Nauman Butt and Sachin Soni’s New Jersey Wedding Blended Desi Traditions

Nauman Butt and Sachin Soni built their August 2023 wedding around a simple idea: make room for both families’ cultures while shaping a celebration that felt like theirs. Their gatherings in Colonia, New Jersey, paired Pakistani and Indian details with an American-style vow ceremony, welcoming relatives and friends into a shared celebration.

A friendship that became a partnership

Nauman, who is studying to become a clinical mental health counselor, met Sachin, an IT director, in 2006 at a monthly event hosted by Trikone Atlanta, a Desi LGBTQ group. They dated briefly, then chose friendship when the relationship didn’t work out. Over time, they became close companions through life’s changes.

After nearly nine years as friends, Nauman worried that pursuing love could put the friendship at risk. Sachin told him he had never stopped having romantic feelings for him, and they began dating again. Their first date still brought butterflies, Nauman recalls, and he says they continue to smile at each other years later.

Four years into dating, Sachin proposed during a trip to London. He arranged for a saxophonist to play Nauman’s favorite song one morning, then asked him to spend their lives together. They had hoped to marry in 2020, but postponed their plans when the pandemic began. After a three-year engagement, they married in August 2023.

Making space for both families

The couple’s paths to family acceptance differed. Nauman was born in Pakistan to a Muslim family and says his parents initially cut contact for more than a year after he came out. He gave them time, and his mother gradually came to accept him. She danced at the wedding.

Sachin came out to his parents later in life. They were glad he had found love, though they needed time to adjust to him having a male partner. His parents, elder brother and sister-in-law joined the celebration with joy. Their presence made the wedding a family gathering shaped by patience, change and acceptance.

Two pre-wedding gatherings, many shared details

Nauman and Sachin hosted the wedding at the New Jersey home of Sachin’s brother and sister-in-law. Because Sachin’s family is Hindu and Nauman’s is Muslim, they chose not to hold a religious ceremony. Instead, they planned a festive program with cultural elements they both wanted to share.

Nauman’s Dholki ki Raat opened the festivities as an intimate gathering centered on traditional dholki music. He had henna applied to his hands while loved ones gathered around him. The format offered a close-knit start before the larger garden celebration.

The garden Sangeet brought together marigolds, bright colors and dancing. Guests could visit mehndi artists, and food counters served dishes from the couple’s respective hometowns, Lahore and Chandigarh. The menu made their backgrounds part of the gathering in a direct, welcoming way.

Music also gave each groom a moment in the celebration. Sachin sang Nauman’s favorite song from Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge, while Nauman danced to the Pakistani song “Boohey Barian.” A DJ friend, known for playing at Desi and gay bars in New York City, handled the Sangeet music. Nauman describes the night as especially meaningful because family and friends were there to share their blessings.

Vows beneath the greenery

The wedding ceremony brought a quieter visual mood after the colorful Sangeet. Set among lush greenery, the vow space used white flowers, table arrangements and fairy lights, with plush seating for guests.

Sachin arrived on a white horse, dressed in what Nauman described as a prince-like outfit. Their families greeted him for the custom of “milni,” then Nauman walked down the aisle and the two exchanged vows. Family speeches became a highlight for Nauman: hearing loved ones express their support helped him feel accepted and acknowledged as part of a couple.

Advice from the couple

Nauman’s advice to LGBTQ couples is to stay connected to who they are while deciding how culture and heritage belong in their lives. He compares traditions and religion to brushes and paint: couples can draw from them, but they get to shape the picture according to their happiness. Their own celebration reflected that approach through chosen customs, music, food and the people who stood beside them.

Wedding team

Location: Colonia, New Jersey
Catering: Moghul Caterers
Entertainment: Dynamite Foundation (Sangeet)
Wedding outfits: Kanj By Aruna & Priyanka
Photography and videography: Andrea Marie

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